the last word (for the night)

this is the story i really wanted to tell about feeling sorry for myself before the lead in that you see in the post below got so long:

so i overheard some people at work making weekend plans and started to get that panicky feeling about how i don't have any plans and who would i make plans with and am i cool enough that someone would want to make plans with me and how i wish i were the kind of person people describe as "she could talk to a wall" and just wondering how this whole make new friends things works. how do we get to that point where we look up and we have our people. so all of this going on in my head and i go to the bathroom to change into my cycling clothes. when i come back to my desk to put on my shoes a mini reeses peanut butter cup falls out of one. i pause for a minute to try and try and figure out how it got there and then decide that however it got the we it knows that i am feeling sorry for myself and it is a sign of good will from the world. it's the universe saying "you thought we'd get all spiritual on you, but we're emotional eaters too. here, have some chocolate." i think i really thought this. and then i realized that Steve had put it there, as he was laughing from his desk across the room. this made me want to cry. not because i was dissapointed, but because Steve had thought of me or because the Universe had thought of me and when it went looking for a messenger it found Steve.